Yes, I mean no… so maybe!

Do you remember the catchy tune by The Clash – Should I stay or should I go? The chorus goes: “If I go there will be trouble and if I stay it will be double.” Even if this kind of music doesn’t appear on your personal playlist, the message is crystal clear: No matter what I do, no matter what I decide, it puts me in a perceived dilemma.

Indeed, many people are struggling with decisions after the Covid crisis. Should I stay with the company I’m so familiar with, or would it be healthier and more desirable to reorient myself?

For you as an HR professional, this phenomenon described as “ambivalence” or “inner conflict” among your employees has not only social but also financial consequences. But perhaps let’s take a step back, namely to where we can understand how people with ambivalence feel and what motivates them.

You can imagine that ambivalence is found in many areas and contexts of our lives – wherever it arises, it usually leads to inaction. Yes, you read that right – ambivalence often leads to a complete standstill because our minds simply cannot process contradictory ideas and consequently tend to play dead. It’s like thinking: If I stay quiet now, I might avoid the worst. To make this more tangible, let me give you an example: I need the security that an employment relationship offers, and at the same time, I feel misunderstood by the management team.

So much for the theory, but how does your team get out of this “stalemate”?

Before I give you ideas on how to get out of this “torn-up” situation, let me say one thing: Everyone feels torn at some point. Everyone has the feeling that their head and heart are locked in a battle.

As is so often the case, it all begins with perception. Perception of how option A or position B feels in the body. First the “security” position, and then the “company system” position. For those of you who are more visual, it helps not only to write down the pros and cons, but also to record them using a point rating (1 = less important to me, 5 = very important to me).

Once you can clearly feel both positions, try to identify which emotional state is associated with option A or B. Finally, consider which of the two options brings you closer to your goal. Is it “security” or “the system”?

One more thing: We often feel blocked and held back because we’re afraid of making the wrong decision. The worst choice we can make is to do nothing, to accept this standstill.

For you as an HR manager, as mentioned at the beginning, it’s not just about the internal conflicts your employees face, but much more about the financial consequences. Studies show us the incredible sums that employee turnover costs us. Therefore, retain the true high performers in your company and ensure you choose to keep them long-term. This can be achieved, for example, through new ways of working, improved coordination processes, and, not to be forgotten, respect and appreciation in your interactions.